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The road by walking.
Everyone understands it in his own way, of course. And, of course, it can be different at different times, even for the same person. Here are some dictionary definitions of happiness: "Happiness - a state in the desired satisfaction."
"Happiness - a state of contentment and well-being, the joy of the fullness of life, of life satisfaction." There is hardly a person in the world who would not want to happiness, is not it? Perhaps it is no exaggeration to say even, that everyone wants it for himself and consciously committed to this, in order to achieve happiness is making all possible efforts, or at least some of them. Or dreaming about how it will come one day, suddenly and irrevocably change the life, illuminating everything around him.
Why is it so often happiness is beautiful but unattainable dream, despite all the aspirations and the enormous expenditure of energy? You had to think about it? Most likely - yes, the time you read this. And apparently, you know the feeling when, after the failure discouraged, and the question "how to make a difference" is not the right answer, even with the seeming abundance of options. And in their absence - and even more so.
And then the eternal gnawing "why" is spinning in my head constantly, "Why is this so? Why do this to me? "- Gaining momentum and increasing the distance between the present day and the future. A fleeting moment inexorably and today becomes yesterday - another day of unfulfilled desires, woven into a series of the same. As long as we think, we suffer, lament over it losing this moment of time, and all the happiness does not come close. Why is that?
The fact is that not enough to gain a conscious motivation. And want to be - not the same thing - just to banality and convincing to the transparency of the truth. And the purpose of today's discussion is not a recipe for happiness, and the designation stages of building the path to it.
Try to imagine that between you and consciously desired rise in the power of unconscious underlying causes of current difficulties. You can not guess about them, because they are hiding in the corners of the subconscious mind, but you can feel them, to feel, to see the mind's eye. As soon as you want to - you can feel them, because they are inside you. Not just are, and appear permanently staining the world with their colors. How? - Differently.
For example, in the form of stereotypic reactions determining ordinary behavior, and action selection. Agree, people do not always think about their actions, quite often they are carried out automatically - habit. Similarly, as an adult, without reflection on "how to do it" picks up the cutlery and lights a match, he or instant answers addressed to him being rude or just instantly offended by it, or ... - in general, runs mechanism stereotyped reaction.
At this moment it becomes a mistress of his master. A host is ... who do you think? That's right, the man himself. These stereotypes - not one or two, count them, perhaps, it is not just that we do not notice them as usual, they do not notice, especially depending on their own. You can give an example: Suppose your school life there was a teacher of mathematics - which is not fair, how you felt, treat you underestimated your evaluation and causes negative emotions.
As a result, the way you have cooled interest in mathematics in general - as the subject. Externally, the teacher seemed to have trouble with narrow eyes, slits, suhenky and long nose beak. So, even it does not matter how many years have passed since the school time - but you have the presence of formed stereotypes. And if you even as an adult - a person you meet on the street, looks like your school teacher - that is your reaction to emotional and behavioral ... is the same as back in school!
Thus triggered stereotypical reactions. And at first you react emotionally, and only then realize - that the other can not. And if "the appearance of the teacher of mathematics" belongs to your colleague? You already own begin to realize that your perception of colleagues will be inadequate. Often manifest themselves internal conflicts, when we consciously strive to one and subconscious reaction leads to the opposite.
Somewhere, sometime, maybe for a long time, but most often in childhood, we have formed a certain model of the reaction, and it is a familiar brick in the backpack of goods that we carry for life, not for a moment agreeing to throw off the yoke . With this backpack we feel somehow more secure, and fatigue to drag us to continuously gravity seems familiar and necessary.
Here I would recall one of the heroes Mumm - trolskih stories Tove Jansson, Snusmumriken, who used to say that in the world there are many things more interesting than the drag of a suitcase. How to identify the existence of such a conflict? For example a young man really wants to meet a girl, and this applies to everything that can - and at the same time it has a lack of confidence in front of an acquaintance, and all girl.
Thus, at the level of consciousness - it is one of action and reaction of the subconscious in this case, the uncertainty is exactly the opposite. The subconscious mind control, and the response "uncertainty" will dominate. That is an obstacle. Sometimes they declare themselves negative beliefs and fears, - very serious obstacles to achieve the desired. They, too, we have collected on the road of life, in many ways - in the same child.
Well, there's, like, everything is clear: is terrible example to use the Metro as a means of transportation. And a man is moved through the vast city only mode of transport by land, you see, if there is a car - it's just torture and inappropriately waste of time. And if you think what? - This fear, of course. Be that as it may, all our habits, stereotypes, beliefs, fears, and so on - it is not we ourselves do not even clothes, without which we remain naked.
They are binding for us only to the extent that we allow it to them and we want to. For only the man himself - the whole, and his character, emotions, body and even the soul - the human equivalent components. But how and what to do to attain this unity and to regain the right to host the situation? More specifically, where to start? First of all, it is good to understand that the "how" and "what" can implement only the man himself, and every man decides for himself. And for the other can be another solution - and that's fine.
Other universes live differently, have a different structure, atmosphere, etc., and people - is nothing less than the universe. Many doubt, but why not try? And some even agreeing with this, often waiting for help and solutions exclusively outside of the sages in any guise: a psychologist, coach, healer, prophet, astrologer.
Personal satisfaction and inner freedom - close relatives, ie Actions carried out by choice, and the help and support from outside are just variants of their forces applications accepted or rejected by their own free will. So, thinking about the way to happiness, the first thing to do - to understand the internal causes, which are an obstacle to achieving it.
Awareness of the barriers blocking the road to happiness - the first stage, without which there move on. In short, in order to relieve the problem, it is necessary to consider them, or how to choose the best tactics for further action. To do this, there are many approaches and psycho. The process of awareness of the problems may be accompanied by surprise (it is necessary, it turns out that in me!), Exemption from them - a very pleasant process, during which can, by the way, change ourselves of happiness.
The next stage of construction - the correction in accordance with the desired. Given the fact that during the release of the available barriers a person begins to perceive the deeper and more personal happiness (because the fuller and deeper recognizes and accepts himself, but through self-knowledge - takes better the world around you). And finally - the result: the transformation of the individual, natural changes in life.
What does it mean? Unconstrained, natural to achieve the desired; the disclosure of internal capacity due to release from constraint. And then ... grandiose changes in fate, sudden insight, the ability to achieve the desired. It is possible, achievable, realistic. We just start and go, building a road to happiness - we wish you from the heart! In our experience, a lot of convincing examples of finding happiness!
Here is an example from real life in my practice: not so long ago to me for consultation resulted mom daughter Oksana, which for 30 years. If you have a prestigious job, full prosperity, - she felt very miserable. A young man with whom she met, it is not enough, she even ashamed of it in the society. At the same time, she held on to him, was scared of being alone.
In the presence of the beauty of nature - Oksana looked not the best way, the dark tones of clothes, sloppy colorless cosmetics, extinct eyes large blue eyes ... When asked what problems in life, - Oksana said, - loss of interest in life, and complete stagnation in all. The young man lived in her apartment, went to her new prestigious foreign car, and just enjoyed everything without giving anything in return.
She felt the emptiness and dissatisfaction with life. Asked whether she loved him, as long as it lives, - she said no. But there was the habit of the well-established relationship and a great fear of being alone. She absolutely did not believe that can meet a decent man and be happy. And this is understandable, a number of her own beliefs about itself - fully managed by it, in itself, and the real circumstances of her life.
Paradoxically, but it was her only reality, the other Oksana could not even imagine! Yes, there were just unconscious underlying causes of its problems. And this situation is a mirror image of, and fully consistent with the internal beliefs Oksana.
As a psychologist, I just helped find the girl in itself formed at certain points in development, attitude toward themselves and the outside world. It is quite clear that the detected internal beliefs that determine the behavior, choices and actions Oksana. The subliminal emotional reactions control the mind, whether you like it or not - but it is.
All our unconscious emotional responses are in the subconscious. It is therefore absolutely zero will result when trying to consciously practice exempt from programs in the subconscious. On the subconscious to work in the language of the subconscious. This approach allows you to get rid of all our internal constraints of everything that is an obstacle to our development and achievements.
Best of all, the process of Realizing his release - we are the other, and this is going on, our internal growth! So, Oksana could only correctly detected set free from limiting beliefs. What we did. And she just blossomed before our eyes! Due to the release of the constraints - has revealed her inner potential, and completely changed his life for two months!
It is no longer drives the handle mom. Oksana today - is confident beautiful girl. She has beautiful eyes, - radiating happiness! Change of image - and this elegant fashionable girl. She met another young man, worthy of themselves - their mutual love, they are very happy! Oksana began to "notice" on the job, and offered a promotion.
Life is filled with meaning, success and happiness simply. This is only one example in the actual practice. Changes have everyone, and they occur quite naturally. The expression "How we think - the way we live" - is indeed a truism.
This ingeniously wrote the famous RA Wilson in his book "The Psychology of evolution." Here is a quote from his book, "An example is a parable in which the teacher forced the monks every day to think only about the bull. After a while, the teacher went to the cell of the monk and said, "Come, I want to talk to you." "I can not go out, - said the monk, my horn is not to get through the door."
Obviously, monks have been some changes of the brain. And waking up from this hypnotic state, he saw clearly the mechanism of all other human errors and attained enlightenment. All of us like this monk - giants bred pygmies, who have learned to live silently hunched. How to straighten up to his full height, full power of our brain? "
The life and destiny of every human being only in his hands.
It always can be rotated to the desired direction, you just need to want it and work for it a little bit!
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