Nowadays, kids are developing very fast, but on the other - remain largely unsuited to life. Many parents are concerned that their son or daughter is not able to clean up after themselves, not to mention the fact, to warm up your own breakfast, fill the bed alone to do homework or to collect school bag.
The parents refer to their childhood, when they were much more independent and responsible. Here we must note that grew up in the Soviet communal parents and children today are completely different people.
One of the reasons that there are difficulties in the education of their own - the insecurity of children in large cities. Parents must accompany children to and from school on a walk, but it does not explain why they can not cope with household chores.
For children growing demands in the school curriculum only complicated and requires developing organism high energy costs. Often, the child simply can not on their chores.
Of course, you can free up the time of your offspring, giving it a more simple school. Then, instead of English or other foreign language, he will learn to cook eggs and dress without help from an adult. But hardly any of the parents donate a good education.
Autonomy in the home depreciates society, people are respected for children (other adults, teachers) are welcomed to educational, sports and other achievements, participation and victory in the competition.
However, they stop paying attention to whether their child is able to collect the form and a change of clothes in the same section, and lay them out after school (if necessary - to the laundry). They do not care if he could cook something, or at least warm up your own food.
Over the bed or tucked collected backpack is not praised and do not put marks. Adults interested in children only success in school, or sections, no one asks whether they wash their dishes. It is necessary to pay attention to domestic affairs and encourage the child when he performs them.
Parents increasingly important is the result of study, do homework, or visiting mug section, written essay, and who and how to organize these processes - does not seem important.
Of course, parents are so tired after a busy day, and stresses that it is easier to do everything for the child to rest as soon as possible. But in this case should not complain about the time off from your job kids.
Educating yourself - it is work that is overlooked. It happens that the mother and grandmother of the best intentions of preparing delicious meals, set the table, collect a child to school because they want to make their lives easier. This is certainly a noble goal, but at the same time, children develop consumer attitude to relatives.
The portfolio assembled by parents in the evening, so whether it is worth your child to learn this myself? The parents wish their kids all the best - in life and in school. But do not underestimate the importance of fostering respect for elders and self-satisfaction of their vital needs.
The authority or friendship in the upbringing of children
Many parents are fighting for its credibility in front of children, in order to maintain control over them, or power. And this can go on for a long time, even when their children already have their own families or even their children.
But then these people are very surprised that some babies have grown neochen sensitive and responsive to other people's requests, preferring to take and not give.
And then he played a significant role is unquestionable authority of parents, which then remained in the hearts of adults already. So is it worth to fight for it, or to let things take their course, you will learn from this article. Several observations and conclusions of professional psychologists to help you find a balance between authority and friendship.
1. In early childhood and pre-school age can not be without the authority to do
This is the period when children take everything that happens without the analysis and critique, so easily can go in any direction, where they point out. If at this age, parental authority is undermined, then later the child may even stop to consider them, and they can not with him about anything or negotiate something of a request.
At this time, children are very suggestible and authority for them could be anyone, as they have expressed a little more critical attitude towards others. Therefore, it is easy to explain something, tell, show, and they are almost unquestioningly carrying out the will of parents or teachers. The same can be said about the credibility of the first teachers.
For children it is very difficult to explain why it is necessary to learn, they just do what attracts them or what they are required. Therefore, if the credibility of the first teachers to be undermined by the casual remark, some words or phrases adult, then the child may lose even the desire to learn at an early stage.
And if his peers are learning to please Maria Ivanovna, he will try for someone, and the child may just abandon their studies. And then no penalties and twos will not save the situation. Therefore, the first step is simply necessary authority to establish contact with the child.
2. Rough methods of achieving credibility may lead to the opposite result
Firstly, parents, proud child speaking phrases like, "You should listen to because I'm your mother," making a mistake in his childhood. And not just because the parents themselves are someone's children too and can make mistakes.
Just a phrase for the subconscious mind goes something like this: "I can do anything and everything I can because I gave birth to you, and here you are - no," that is a protest, especially in older children. Therefore, these phrases it is better not to use in relation to children, as well as the rough methods of influence.
They can be used only in the rare cases when a child has committed a crime, so he understood that other him for it on the head not pat. Sometimes it is sobering to think and can teach their actions. Therefore, standard phrases do not work here and authority can be strengthened only by the actions.
3. Friendship
Many parents, particularly those who are themselves becoming victims of childhood stern authority of their parents often choose liberal action. For example, allow your child too much, sometimes that is not reasonable, or goes to the detriment of themselves.
And so as a result the child is simply not considered to anybody and relate to parents as peers, bad imagining what is good and what is bad. What child would not play, he does not cry.
Psychologists advise proceeds to friendship in the beginning of the transition the child's age when he already formed their ideas about life, even more naive.
Well, you need to prepare for it since childhood, gradually accustoming him to their needs, without unnecessary sacrifice and the one and the other. Then the child is adequately will carefully treat your desires and you, from towering omnipotent gods turned into a real adult and intelligent people.
The authority or friendship in the upbringing of children
Many parents are fighting for its credibility in front of children, in order to maintain control over them, or power. And this can go on for a long time, even when their children already have their own families or even their children.
But then these people are very surprised that some babies have grown neochen sensitive and responsive to other people's requests, preferring to take and not give.
And then he played a significant role is unquestionable authority of parents, which then remained in the hearts of adults already. So is it worth to fight for it, or to let things take their course, you will learn from this article. Several observations and conclusions of professional psychologists to help you find a balance between authority and friendship.
1. In early childhood and pre-school age can not be without the authority to do
This is the period when children take everything that happens without the analysis and critique, so easily can go in any direction, where they point out. If at this age, parental authority is undermined, then later the child may even stop to consider them, and they can not with him about anything or negotiate something of a request.
At this time, children are very suggestible and authority for them could be anyone, as they have expressed a little more critical attitude towards others. Therefore, it is easy to explain something, tell, show, and they are almost unquestioningly carrying out the will of parents or teachers. The same can be said about the credibility of the first teachers.
For children it is very difficult to explain why it is necessary to learn, they just do what attracts them or what they are required. Therefore, if the credibility of the first teachers to be undermined by the casual remark, some words or phrases adult, then the child may lose even the desire to learn at an early stage.
And if his peers are learning to please Maria Ivanovna, he will try for someone, and the child may just abandon their studies. And then no penalties and twos will not save the situation. Therefore, the first step is simply necessary authority to establish contact with the child.
2. Rough methods of achieving credibility may lead to the opposite result
Firstly, parents, proud child speaking phrases like, "You should listen to because I'm your mother," making a mistake in his childhood. And not just because the parents themselves are someone's children too and can make mistakes.
Just a phrase for the subconscious mind goes something like this: "I can do anything and everything I can because I gave birth to you, and here you are - no," that is a protest, especially in older children. Therefore, these phrases it is better not to use in relation to children, as well as the rough methods of influence.
They can be used only in the rare cases when a child has committed a crime, so he understood that other him for it on the head not pat. Sometimes it is sobering to think and can teach their actions. Therefore, standard phrases do not work here and authority can be strengthened only by the actions.
3. Friendship
Many parents, particularly those who are themselves becoming victims of childhood stern authority of their parents often choose liberal action. For example, allow your child too much, sometimes that is not reasonable, or goes to the detriment of themselves.
And so as a result the child is simply not considered to anybody and relate to parents as peers, bad imagining what is good and what is bad. What child would not play, he does not cry.
Psychologists advise proceeds to friendship in the beginning of the transition the child's age when he already formed their ideas about life, even more naive.
Well, you need to prepare for it since childhood, gradually accustoming him to their needs, without unnecessary sacrifice and the one and the other. Then the child is adequately will carefully treat your desires and you, from towering omnipotent gods turned into a real adult and intelligent people.
