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Many children go through a period - between two and four years - when hitting and biting is a form of communication, often only for the expression of one or another of the condition, for example: "I am angry," or, "I want this."
Lacking even the gift of speech, and thus, unable to even otherwise express their wishes and requests, they tend to resort to fists or sharp baby teeth. Despite the fact that it is a normal stage of child development, such aggressiveness can become a habit.
Children who grow up, learn to suppress their aggression and to communicate with others using spoken language, often become real fighters. With fights kids can get yourself the things to which they aspire, but it will make them outcasts in the children's company and other children are afraid of them.
If your child is in precisely this phase of development, it may soon pass it. To bring this point (and help protect other children!), You can use the tips that will help your child get rid of the aggressive habits.
Attend.
If you see that your child has not started school, hit another, first go to his victim. Lift the hurt child and say, "Jimmy did not want to hurt you." Then hug him, kiss and spend out of the room.
So you deprive your child's attention, bringing it to a playmate. Suddenly, your child observes that the fun was over and he was left alone. Typically, you want to repeat this 2-3 times - and a fighter realize that aggression is not in his interest.
Establish rules.
From the very beginning Teach your child to respect the rules. Just say, "We do not beat, and no one beats us." For children aged four years and above requirements can be more detailed. Can you say: "In our house there is a rule: if you need a toy, but it plays another child and not give it to you, wait."
Become a guardian angel.
Children use physical violence, often can not cope with its own character. For example, when a toy with which he wants to play, is another baby, unrestrained child may act impulsively, and select it. Will often remind him of the rules you set.
Become his second "I" or a guardian angel.
When the aggressiveness of the child begins to grow, provide him this and offer alternative solutions. Say, for example: "In this situation, you want to hit, but it is wrong. It is better to tell me that you're angry. You can tell me what you want to hit, but you know what to do so should not be."
Beware of the person who offends.
Do not overlook verbal aggression - often it is the beginning of something more serious. The child may be verbal way, "click", forcing playmate retaliate. When this happens, do not blame the person who hit and did not pay attention to the child, causing a fight. The child, who began the verbal aggression, too, should be punished.
Declare a timeout.
The period of calm is often the most effective way to change bad behavior. Small children should be seated in the chairs on the two or three minutes, so nothing distracts them, and the older children sent to their rooms.
Just do not make this sentence. Just explain that takes such a step, because you want everyone to come in order and that all were satisfied. Say, "You can not stop the fight, and I want you to take yourself in hand. That's why I decided to help you. Who will be declared time-out for two or three minutes, as long as you do not calm down."
Praise her efforts.
When children respond properly to do everything to build on these efforts. Tell them: "I like the way you did." Children respond better to praise when they see that parents really happy with them. Needless to say, "Good boy" or "good girl." Children often do not pay attention to it.
Better to say, "You gave me great pleasure when shared with his younger brother, instead of fighting with him. Now I know I can trust you to care for him." Such praise is very important for children. It allows them to feel that they can make a good impression.
Create scenarios for success.
Child bullying others, very quickly notices that the physical aggressiveness brings only limited success. It can take away a toy that he likes, or out of turn the swing, but soon found out that he was left without friends and alone. It may be, he is very interested in how to change their behavior.
We need to try to teach children to think critically.
First, talk with your child what will happen, if it will resort to force. If your child consistently beats other children in the playground, you can tell him: "You know what happens if you do not stop fighting?" He can say, 'I'll be in trouble on the court, the director will call me into his office and remove from the site. " Then you can say to him: "But you want to be praised? What should we do to make your actions are commendable, have been successful?" Children respond readily to it.
Once the child begins to understand that he was waiting for trouble, you can give him the opportunity to correct their behavior. For example, if a child exhibits aggressive on the playground, you can remind him of his desire to improve. Encourage children to ask him politely if he could take part in the game or let him to throw the ball back to the site and will wait until the kids will not call him.
Keep a journal to get rid of bad behavior.
When a small child begins to show signs of aggressiveness, writing a story in which the child is the main character. Using pictures cut from magazines or photographs of the child, create a situation in which the child is behaving with dignity and deserves praise. Talk to him at the time when the child is calm, not nervous. When a child's emotional crisis, is not easy to calm him down.
Share with a child of his imagination.
There are quite an effective method to help your child in a different way to look at his behavior, he is that you share with a child of his imagination. For example, a child who is committed to ensuring that all playground belonged to him alone, can get it ... in the fantasy. Say, "OK, for the entire week only one Tommy would start in the playground. Nobody will use the swings, in addition to Tommy, and everyone will be around and cheering."
After Tommy realizes that his most ambitious dreams are just fantasies - and also funny, I talk to him seriously. Say, "You see, it sounds great, but in reality you can not use a playground for her to play well with other children. So let's figure out how best to proceed."
In extreme cases resort to force.
To keep a child from aggressive attacks, it is possible to use force, but only in the case when this aggression threatens his life or the lives of others. If you still have to resort to force, go to the back of the child and push his hands. Embrace it with their feet and hold his chin out of the reach of his head.
The use of force in some children is furious, but calms others in that you are able to cope with them. Just create the impression that you are holding the baby, trying to calm him down, do not show aggression towards him, so he did not feel as if he is attacked.
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