How to learn self-esteem of the child?

Self-assessment - this sort of thing, which is inherent in a man of principle.

Whatever we do, we appreciate, if not out loud or to yourself, at least subconsciously. And we compare with others. It is neither good nor bad - just there.

And the child also develops its own self-esteem, and not without the help of adults.

Firstly, in the kid since the age of two starts to form the "inner parent", which is known to determine the responsibility for the deeds and misdeeds and assigns penalties.

This coincides with what in psychoanalysis is called "anal period" of human development (similar to animals that mark their territory); in humans it is called socialization in the part, which is connected with the distribution of status and the definition of their role in society (first in the very near - in the family).

Secondly, parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters, friends and acquaintances, and sometimes complete strangers uncles and aunts and then say:

- What a good boy, gave way ...

- You're so big, and you cry, not ashamed!

- That Misha already knows how to read and write, but you know ... dunce want to grow?

- To learn from his brother: there he saves as toys and all you die hard!

- You have me so beautiful, my daughter!

From the best of intentions, which is paved road ... you know where adults affect the self-esteem of the child.

"And without it? "- You ask. Yes, difficult. But still...

You can, for example, try "not to get personal," not appreciating the baby, and act, action.

Or at least sometimes to translate the conversation in "constructive plane", "Wow, we have toys scattered around the room, even getting lost, let's collect them."

After all, it is very important to a child's self-esteem evolved, not under- or over: and then, and more promises problems for himself and family.

How to show adequate evaluation? Oh, it fit to enjoy the activity without aggression, resourcefulness, optimism, sense of humor, sociability.

And down? Passivity, mistrust, resentment or fear ... to play, to communicate (and suddenly see that I - worse).

However, sometimes it is manifested in attempts to compensate for the desire to always and everywhere be the first, and when the failures - is undergoing a profound tragedy. So the behavior of low self-esteem may seem like an overcharge.

But if the already happened, and self-esteem of the child is of concern, how to help?

First of all, make sure that the concerns were not in vain: the children are not robots, speak and act differently. If one hurt, lost, and another time - not a bit, so maybe it's okay?

Pay attention to the creative work of the baby: it has, for example, drawing on the sheet (not once, but often).

With low self-esteem - in the lower part, with overpriced - on the contrary.

Listen, how often the child says:

- I can not do it ...

- Why do this? I still get worse than that ...

- Just his luck ...

- I do not blame that ...

- But he snitch (fights, cheating ...)

- In actual fact, do not you think ...

- The teacher does not like me ...

- I am not interested...

- All against me ... etc.

But please, do not forget that we are talking about, how often, and not about whether it says.

To determine the level of the child's self-esteem is often invited to test "ladder", and if you want, you can easily find it in the internet, but I do not like it because it just involves tell someone how good and who is bad, that is, there is a danger "stake out" problem.

Much more I like the taste "funny little men." You can use a picture from the book M.Ilinoy "Preparing for School: developing tests and exercises," and can be drawn by the tree, different branches of which (one above, one below) sit funny creatures.

The child will be much easier, more pleasant and more interesting show, where he found himself falling on that tree where - his friends, parents and other relatives. And you with the look and note: who is above, below or poseredinke - and concludes (not forgetting that the preschooler self-esteem variable, and the result of work on the "here and now" and not on the rest of his life).

About how to help correct the detke self-esteem, will be discussed in the next article.

See you!

Talk to your child about mom's love and intima

When the mother to start a conversation with the child about love and intima? Parents should be the main mentors in this topic, always answering questions directly, it is clear and accessible to the child's age, so that next time, when the child has any doubts, he turned to his parents.

Otherwise, we run the risk that the child will receive distorted information - on the street, at school, with friends, etc.

In modern society, when we are dealing with concepts such as AIDS and other diseases, sexually transmitted diseases and sexual abuse of children by adults, it is important to a child from an early age knew the structure of his body and physiological changes that await him in future.

The child should know that is not good, if someone (an adult or not) touch his private parts, and that if someone touches his or touches, and this child does not like, it is necessary to say that it is not necessary to do, and ask adult care.

Therefore, it is important that children are sufficiently trust parents to resort to their help, if something bothers them, or they have any doubts.

At what age to start a conversation with a child my mother?

No later than 6 years, children should know where they come from. No later than 9 years old child should know how to make the children, and what role is played by Mom and Dad.

From this age, in the early period of gestation parents should educate children on other topics such as menstruation or erection.

When a child is between 12 and 15 years, parents have the courage to tell in detail the child about sexuality and about the peculiarities of relations between the sexes, focusing on such fundamental aspects of love, tenderness, respect and feelings.

How to start a conversation with your child about mother love and intima?

Ideally, you want to conduct this conversation in a relaxed manner, spiritually and naturally. If you do not know where to start, you can use a book. On the book market is a fairly wide range of books and atlases of anatomy and physiology, adapted for children.

You can flip through a book together, this will help melt the ice, and your child will feel free to speak to you with their questions and doubts, to get them detailed and clear answers.

Remember that sex education - an important part of the overall education of the child, so we can not push this issue on the back burner. It is also important that this education was presented in stages, without undue haste and forcing.

To a certain time and parents will have to tell the child about the methods of contraception (in order to avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases), and which one is best for him.

Features puberty

How to recognize and experience with the child during its transformation from a child into an adult young man or woman. We even can not imagine how much we have in common and our children, we and our parents.

Problems generations do not change for several centuries. For the generation of their parents generation of children will always be too wayward, rebellious and frivolous.

The generation of grandparents or even decades will sigh "in our time everything was different, in our time of such horror, and there was no robbery." The same problem remains the eternal puberty. What is this for ages and how to survive the children and parents?

Fact №1

Transitional age - a surge of hormones, emotions and feelings. Teenager with one hand, still a child, but on the other hand, he is a grown man. His life is changing faster seasons. He is lost and can not determine in which situations it should behave as a child and as an adult public.

Fact №2

In this difficult period the person has never needed support and love of close friends. Teenagers often unbalanced, their life values ​​and principles are changing day by day.

Man feels complexes, afraid to be not like others, and at the same time wants to stand out from the crowd. Sometimes, to be the best or the expectations of fellow teenager makes a lot of mistakes.

Fact №3

For teenagers there is a word and should not be - it's a red flag. At the age of 14-17 years, a person thinks that the whole world at his feet. The opposite pozitsiya- whole world is against him alone. Such a spectrum of emotions and fears results in strange and bizarre behavior.

During this period, the best medicine for a teenager - it's an interesting hobby and a good group of friends. It's no secret that all the bad habits teenager the first time tries to "out of hand" so-called friends.

If the child has got in not a good company, it must be all the forces to pull out of this circle and fill his free time more secure and interesting hobbies.

Fact №4

It was at the age of 12-15 years, there is a conscious interest in the opposite sex. Due to the ideal of non-compliance or mutual love, many young men and women suffer from complexes and self-doubt.

Tineydzhdery very painfully and acutely perceive criticism, and the slightest remark can permanently knock them out of the rut.

Fact №5

Children's riot. Your child needs freedom, he tries to get out from under your wing and let float freely. Pay close attention to all the arguments and the wishes of your child. Talk to him on an equal footing.

If he claims to be the adult to learn to let them answer for their actions and realize that everyone has not only rights but also duties.

The most important thing for parents during this period - it does not decide for the child all his problems and not to create him a "golden cage", and try to form a teenager the right attitudes and values.

Man, even in 15 years, I must learn to make their own decisions and take responsibility for them. After a few years, your child is sure to tell you thank you!

Victoria Nasielsk