Child in time

I very much like the phrase that a child is born with the mother. I like to repeat it. And recently wondered: What if a child is not the first? If he, for example, a third? Mom that also is born again? I think yes. With each child a woman becomes a mother again. Just feel it all differently.

I gave birth to her first child at age 19, not because they really wanted to have it then. Just inexperienced contraception, pregnancy and the first ... must give birth. That's right.

Can not say that I did not want her first child. I was looking forward to the birth, love your belly, but did not understand because of their age, which gave me happiness. It seemed to me that my pregnancy is somehow not at the time. What child will be born at the wrong time.

Having a child was I taken for granted. As ordinary event: all children are born, that I was born. I love him, I care about him, I am his mother - somehow humdrum. Maternal feelings were some small, perhaps.

It's been 13 years since the first birth, and in my memory, leaving only memories of how I was scared, I was hurt. I do not remember how the first time she saw her son, nor his smell or his screaming - nothing.

After delivery, I said the words heard later from many young mothers: I gave birth to the second? No way in the world!

The second child in my family appeared together with her new husband. Stepson was already two years old, when I replaced his mother. But the birth of maternal feelings for this child was difficult, through the pain and tears. This child also somehow not part of my plans.

I would be lying if I said that immediately fell in love with his now second son. First, sorry, then I tied, and have not noticed, how to love. And it has helped me to understand what the child needs love.

Not pretentious clothes, delicious food, expensive heaped toys, and love without commitment and without an understanding of the conventions.

He helped me to realize that we must learn to be a mother and have a child is not enough. And if you give it the right - to be a mom, the greatest sin is the right not to accept. And to think that the child is given to you at the wrong time, too, to put it mildly, is not correct.

Even with the advent of the second boy in the house, I saw how happy my first son, who was with whom to share secrets with whom to laugh till you drop and with whom to fight pillows. At my first son before it was and there was nothing ... because it was not his brother.

When my thirties, I already had a strong desire to its two to have another child. And when I was thirty-three gave birth to a second and third child for the family, then suddenly I realized what it means to give life to a person, what it means to become a mother.

The sensations were incredible and did not like anything. I do not remember how it hurt. I remember that I was not scared.

And I remember the night after giving birth lying on a bed in an embrace with her son, holding his tiny fingers transparent and literally physically feel the incredible maternal happiness!

As it turned out stronger and brighter than it was 19 years. Everything turned out differently. Now I know what to give birth to a child, not because it is necessary for it to be, but because he wants it to be, and I want to be a mom.

I guess with age comes to a woman, not only sexual experience, and wisdom. With age, a woman comes true motherhood.

You wonder why Grandma is so fond of his grandchildren? Sometimes this love is the strength overrides feelings for their children.

Yes, because those years a woman brought an understanding that children without any, even the most eventful life is boring, that the world is empty without children, children without your existence has no meaning.

Oh, if this understanding was available to young women, who, after giving birth to first child, abandoning the idea of ​​the birth of the second and third child.

First, because it's still early, then - because it was too late. It turns out somehow all is not the time to have another baby.

Oh, if they were available understanding of what children always have time.

After all, the child can not come at the wrong time.

Author: Tatiana Osipova

Photography

Rivalry children in the family

How often parents who have one child, as an excuse for saying: The more children, the more problems they have with each other. What mother does not share the toy, then come to blows. I experienced firsthand what happens in different ways. And the title of brother does not require a person to love or hate the person to whom you are my brother come.

What will be the feeling depends on the parents. How do they explain how to put themselves in relation to children and develop.

I think, no, I know that children show competition only when they feel the difference in the love bestowed by parents.

I tell their difficult history.

Kostik, my firstborn, 5 years of his life there as the one and only. He did not have anyone to share me. Perhaps if I was pregnant, pregnant with him, Kostya would have time to prepare for the appearance of his brother, at least gradually get used to the idea.

But this time it was not. Suddenly, spontaneously, at once in his life, there were two boys who claim to my attention, I have lopped off a huge chunk of time that before I paid only the bones. They lived with us for months. Kostya took their appearance as my betrayal.

We talked. I talked with him a very grown-up. And surprisingly, he took all my arguments, and calmed down. I said that Nikita was not lucky. And we take it to him. And I am his mother, and he would be his brother Bones. That is not the brother, and a summary (although it is not called so), but it's all one take!

I tried my best to convince not by words but by deeds, that I like Kostya no less than before. But I was very afraid that showing love to his son, I'll give less love her stepson. Nikita resorted to me for an hour three times, four, and, pressing her cheek against my cheek, I murmured: I love you !!!

Psychologists say that it is normal for him, so he shows his feelings and confirms my. Indeed, in response, he received a portion of the tender embrace and the words: I love you too. Kostik, who watched it, too, became manifest to me more attention. I tried to hug and kiss too.

And I set for myself a rule that if a child kisses me in front of the other, I answer him, and be sure to attend to watch.

Looking at Kostya and Nikita, uninitiated never guess that they are not siblings. People even find them superficial resemblance, but they absolutely do not resemble each other in appearance and character. They have different parents, and they became brothers by fate.

When Nikita was 5 years old, he decided that he wanted to live with my dad and me. It was decided. Once the adult, not as a 5 year old boy. He lifted me to my mother, well, and the trailer was Kostya's brother - my son.

A bone is not very much and was glad the event that his friend Nikita suddenly become a friend of his brother. One thing and one another - a brother. A friend here today, gone tomorrow, he and his brother so he always underfoot confused. Another mother gave candy, but the son of the two left, and my brother and I have to share everything equally.

And one thing to be friends, and the other - to share her mother. Their friendship and love has been a lot of changes. Not a day goes by that we do not understand something dirty situation is one, then another, then two at once.

Step by step, sigh for sigh, a tear of the teardrop we teach children to understand and hear each other. And I learned, too. She studied to be the same for them and in words and in deeds.

I am very pleased that Nikita and bone, not being native, became brothers for life.

Once Kostya fell and lost consciousness, and Nikita in such tears ran home, so wailed and sobbed as never before, even when he himself was very painful. He was afraid for her brother, for what happened to him, something terrible happened.

And when Nikita lost his favorite ball, Kostya for several days running all over the neighborhood, hoping to find and return the ball to his brother, who roared from the loss of the house.

When children live together, their relationship is formed in different ways. But if parents are well-behaved and do not give the right to doubt their love, the children have nothing to compete with each other.

Author Tatiana Osipova