Female friendship: thinking out loud

How many copies of the broken theme of female friendship!

Some ladies are ready to defend their faith in the fact that this same friendship exists, until the last breath. Others listening to the arguments of the first hot, just ironic smile. Who is right?

Or maybe all right? The most important thing you need to do the parties dispute the presence / absence of female friendship - is to define the concept. That is: what exactly they mean by friendship?

Because if you look closely, you'll find amazing things. One lady says, I have a couple of dozen friends! And sincerely convinced that the way it is. However, in its understanding of the friends - is good friends with whom you can go to a party or a movie.

And what happens in her family or in the shower, she prefers to keep a secret - it's personal. Another woman said that real friends can be a lot, because it implies support for the representation of friendship in time of need, willingness to sacrifice, "the shirt" and other noble causes.

She, on the other hand, does not understand what this one is - with whom you can not share the most intimate? Is not that what friends are needed - to pour out their soul and find help? If these two ladies will argue about friendship, they will never reach mutual understanding - simply because they speak different languages. Who is right? Yes, perhaps, each in its own way.

There is another category of the fair sex, who are convinced of female friendship does not exist. And they, too, on your right. After all, they say, based on my own experience. Surely women belonging to the third category, in the past experienced a betrayal by a friend and now do not let any of the familiar women close to him.

Paradoxically, these women may have a lot of female friends with whom spend a fun evening in the cafes and theaters, that is actually no different from the representatives of the first category. Just call this phenomenon differently. So, there is this notorious female friendship, in the end of it all?

I am inclined to think that the answer to this question is to look useless and unnecessary. After all, the concept of "friendship" - the notion, as we have seen, quite ephemeral. And instead of trying to understand it, it is necessary to look at the actions of those around us - quite specific and objectively exist.

If you call this woman his girlfriend, and she stole your husband - was it you will ever girlfriend really?

And if the friend with whom you have met three times in my life, helped you when your child was in the hospital - is she a stranger to you man?

It is not necessary to hang labels on those around you.

Then there will have to be disappointed in his so-called friends. In the end, what is required to clearly define for themselves: this one - one, and this one - just an acquaintance?

With this change, if you hung on everyone who surrounds you label?

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How to change a way of thinking

Programming of positive thinking

Since the new year, I actively took up the transformation of their thinking and emotional state. Why, I was actively engaged in the change of their own destiny! Despite the fact that I'm on

an optimist, my head still occasionally ran the thoughts of a negative character (negative evaluation of the events, savoring unsuccessful version of the situation, sometimes slight flagellation and other masochistic pleasure).

In general, there were to be some thoughts and reactions that just become a habit because of their repeated scrolling in his head, which accordingly formed an undesirable situation.

After reading a couple of books, I have decided their old habits replaced by new ones. That is beginning to live in a state of happiness that arises from everything. I have learned to notice the things in life that previously were not visible in the background of everyday bustle.

There is so much beauty, that is able to constantly keep you in a good condition, is only to draw attention to it. It is life itself!

You just need to stop and look around, at least 5 minutes. Why do we live, if you do not feel happy? We were born not to suffer but to enjoy every moment of life.

After all, it is not infinite, and many just forget it, doing "more important things", for example such as the monotonous process of going from job to job, or cooking dinner, cleaning the apartment.

Somehow, in my childhood, some people call me Princess Nesmeyanov. Look at your old photos, I realized why. Until 2003, almost all photo adorned my face brick, shows no sign of activity.

I have a reaction to fleetingly caught a reflection in shop windows or in the mirrors of the premises. "Damn, you see a face and approached do not want to" - I thought, each time watching the same picture over the years. And it was truly terrible.

At heart an optimist, but outside it turned completely the opposite - "lifeless" look, drooping eyes, corners of her mouth went down. The general feeling is that my face was beginning to flow to the legs. What you will have the feeling at the sight of such a man? Well, that's what I think.

Met in 2003 with my faithful friend and favorite person, my condition has gone on the mend. The first signs were smiles appeared on my face, but their duration was some short.

Once there was a case which, I think I will remember all my life. We have somewhere to go. My boyfriend suddenly wondered why I was not happy. "A reason to be happy then? "- I asked a languid smile. He suddenly grabbed my hand and stuffed his mouth and nose. And I must say that the air I did not have time to type.

In general, attempts to escape or to have failed, and it is impossible to breathe. I'm already very tense when he let go and said, "Well, at least rejoice that breathe! "A really great, I thought, and since then as soon as I have a kind of decadent state, I remember this case.

Express-method for solving problems

If you have learned not to worry about small things, you've taken the first step on the way to a happy life. However, it must also respond appropriately to unexpected problems. How to learn it?

As most of us respond to unexpected challenges? Shock, confusion, chaos in the thoughts, rapid heartbeat, blood rushes to the face ...

Perhaps sometimes this body would shake and helpful, but in our daily lives stressful situations arise more frequently. What to do?

First of all - after the problem crops up - I try not to think about anything. Take a break on something pleasant (drink tea, eat a piece of candy).

Do not assume that the precious moments that you could spend on a solution to the problem go away.

The faster you go into yourself, the more effectively will be able to understand the situation.   Once you feel relaxed, begin to implement the following algorithm.

You may have received incomplete information and made her the wrong conclusion? Try to make sure that the problem really exists before proceeding with the process of solving it.

Otherwise you risk to spend time and effort wasted. It is also possible that what you take to be a problem that requires immediate solutions, it is not so urgent.

It happens that in a stressful situation, we can not objectively evaluate the degree of difficulty. If you suspect that you have the same reaction - it is better to turn to someone who will help you to assess the situation.

At this stage, you need to determine whether you should do to take some action. Perhaps we should just keep aloof? Or forward a solution to someone else?

In the first case, if you know that you can not do anything in this situation, try to just put up with it and possibly throw thought about the issue of the head.

In the second case - as soon as possible to readdress the issue, who should decide, and also try to forget about it.

Determine what is the desired outcome of the solution. Ask yourself: What I want to get the result? Then remember how you solved similar problems.

If in the past you had times when you brilliantly out of these difficult situations - think of it, try to relive the feeling of joy and courage of success. This will give you the strength to move forward and not suffer in vain.

Remind yourself what strengths you have. If you still feel that you can not solve the problem, make a list of what you are missing. You might want to ask someone for help. And then begin to act without delay.

Once you have started to operate, check yourself, whether you are experiencing so far? If so, try to calm down immediately.

Think about the positive use of relaxation techniques.

Remember, everything you could do, you have already done. So, worry more does not make sense.

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